How This All
Started
An awakening,
a canvas,
and a love story
for the ages.
ART THAT BEGINS WHERE PRETENDING ENDS
The Story Behind the Magic
Nicole’s paintings exist because she couldn’t keep pretending everything was fine.
They started as her escape—and became her awakening.
THE TRUTH WAS THERE LONG BEFORE SHE HAD WORDS FOR IT
The Question She Didn’t Know How to Answer
People love to ask Nicole, “What were you feeling when you painted that?”
Now she welcomes the question. But for a long time? She dreaded it. She’d smile and say something vague like, “I like to let the observer decide how it makes them feel”—which was her polite way of dodging a question she didn’t know how to answer. Because back then, she honestly wasn’t in touch with what she was feeling at all.
“Rock bottom wasn’t the end.
It was the door.”
BEFORE SHE UNDERSTOOD HER BRAIN, SHE LEARNED TO SURVIVE IT
A Mind That Never Slowed Down
She didn’t realize until much later that what she was really doing was coping—with a fast, noisy mind that never stopped spinning, and emotions she didn’t yet have language for. What she also didn’t know at the time was that she has ADHD.
For most of her life, Nicole had been trying to keep up with the world while feeling like she was always just a step behind—or spinning five steps ahead. She had everything she was supposed to want, but by her late thirties, she was totally burnt out from trying to hold it all together. She hit a full-on rock bottom. But from that broken, beautiful moment came a decision that changed everything: she was finally going to give herself permission to do the one thing she’d always dreamed of—paint.
SOMETIMES THE UNDOING IS THE BEGINNING
The Beautiful Collapse That Set Her Free
So, she taught herself. No training, no plan. Just a brush, a canvas, and a deep craving to feel something real. And something amazing happened: her mind got quiet. She could focus. Time slowed. The noise faded.
It became the first place she could fully be herself.
Through that stillness, things started to come into focus—big things. She began to see patterns in her life and relationships that weren’t serving her. She started understanding her ADHD. And most powerfully of all, she met Kat.
"She began to see patterns in her life and relationships that weren't serving her."
“It wasn’t a realization. It was a homecoming.”
SOME TRUTHS ARRIVE GENTLY, OTHERS ARRIVE LIKE LIGHTNING
The Homecoming She Didn’t Expect
Falling in love with Kat was like being handed a mirror and seeing herself clearly for the first time. It was electric. Undeniable. And suddenly, she couldn’t not see it—she was gay. It wasn’t just a realization. It was a homecoming. A remembering. And Kat? Was the safe, beautiful space Nicole had been unknowingly searching for her entire life.
That love cracked her wide open—in the best way. It gave her the courage to embrace who she really was, to stop performing, and to start living. Fully, joyfully, authentically. It also deepened her art. Because now, the feelings were finally flowing and she became aware that her paintings were honest reflections of her inner world, not just quiet escapes from it.
THE JOURNEY BACK TO YOURSELF IS THE BRAVEST ONE OF ALL
What It Feels Like to Come Home
These days, Nicole paints from a place of freedom. Her work is bold, textured, and alive. It’s for anyone who’s ever felt like they were too much, or not enough. For anyone craving beauty that’s rooted in truth. And for anyone standing on the edge of a new beginning, wondering if they’re allowed to leap.
(Spoiler: you are.)
Nicole found herself through paint, through love, through letting go.
And now? She’s painting what it feels like to come home to yourself.
“She's painting what it feels like to come home to yourself.”
BECAUSE ART IS PERSONAL
The Mission Behind the Art
Nicole’s story is personal — but her and Kat's mission reaches far beyond the canvas.
They believe premium fine art should feel human, not elitist.
Emotional, not performative.
Accessible, not gatekept.
It’s why Nicole and Kat created Nicole McNamara Art: to make museum-quality work that empowers women to show up as their whole damn selves.